So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
