omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
