theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
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mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
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I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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