In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
