Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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