i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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