...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
