I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
