seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
