Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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