I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
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I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
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It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!