Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

THAT'LL be a good time.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.

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(567): View more from Ohio

i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style

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(678): View more from Georgia

I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.

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You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(207): View more from Maine

i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea

(1-207): View more from Maine

probs a good idea

(207): View more from Maine

i like the whole idea of life and being alive

(1-207): View more from Maine

you sure you're not high?

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(248): View more from Michigan

today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much

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(240): View more from Maryland

He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...

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(701): View more from North Dakota

i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??

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(647): View more from Ontario

Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.

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