everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
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i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
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He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?