So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.