THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
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i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
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He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.