She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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