half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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