Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
