Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The air taste purple.
Randomize
