I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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