And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
