dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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