There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
