fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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