whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
