I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
