His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
