Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
