shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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