My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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