Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize