nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
