Sry I called you an 8
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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