jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
