singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
