I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
