do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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