I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My bed smells like the plague
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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