I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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