i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
