Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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