I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I need moral support for this bender
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
