Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
