So drunk its hurt
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
