I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
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