I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
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If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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