Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
