Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
