thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
