wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Watching her eat just hurts me
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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