Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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