this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
