jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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