I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
