Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
