He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize