Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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