I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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