You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
