do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
