Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
