there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
