the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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